Bahumbug!

I'm a total Scrooge when it comes to Halloween. I wasn't even going to dress Ollie up but at the last minute (literally, 10pm last night) I got inspired + a dose of gumption and put together this little piece.

Oh my goodness, I'm soo glad I did! As you can tell by the clip, I'm giddy with pleasure at how cute I think my little kidlet is. There are a couple other mamas in the background so those aren't all my squeals..but excuse my crazy baby talk... Happy Halloween!! 

Breast Milk and a Mama's Pride

Source: edibleaustin.com via Joy on Pinterest

When my friend told me she cried the first time her little one took a bottle, my first response was to try and encourage her. "Don't worry," I said, "It will be nice to have the option, and nobody is forcing you to give it to her if you don't want to!" In my first couple weeks as a mama, when I was on the couch/bed/rocking chair with an infant on my boob constantly, the idea of a bottle every now and then sounded glorious. 

Well. Now I get it. 

Last night my tiny baby boy drank from his first bottle. He did really well. And mama cried. 

There's just something about knowing he doesn't fully and completely rely on me that makes me feel like a little piece of my heart is broken. I have a nagging voice in my head reminding me this won't be the first milestone that makes me feel like this...Oh my gosh. There's still kindergarten. His first sleep over. A driver's license. College. 

All this is making me search my heart. Am I putting my faith in myself as his mother instead of in God -- his creator? Is my pride taking over and insisting I can raise him and keep him safe in my own strength? Do I accept that Oliver is God's little boy; a precious gift that God chose us to take care of? Parenthood is very humbling. It takes daily reminders, like a bottle of breast milk, to keep me focused on my first purpose: to worship God. All of my other purposes will fall perfectly into place if I keep that one at the top. I can't be everything Ollie needs. And he can't be my everything, either. It's a huge calling to raise children. And while it's a top priority, motherhood isn't the only one on the list. I'm a child of God, Camillo's wife, and Ollie's mama. Isn't that a lot to take in? It can be overwhelming! But I'm thankful that Jesus wants to walk with me and teach me how to live a life that He's proud of. 

As for the bottle: While we plan to breast feed for at least a year, we know there will be occasions where I might be away from Oliver for more than an hour and a half at a time. For instance, this weekend is my mom's birthday and we want to go to see Wicked! I'll be able to enjoy the evening knowing that Camillo and Ollie are doing just fine having a boy's night in. And neither of them will be starving. Note to self: get Camillo something quick and easy to make himself for dinner..

It might take some getting used to but I think we'll all do really well having a second option to feed Ollie when absolutely necessary. Now date nights don't sound so impossible. And, to be honest, I feel better knowing it's okay for me to have a bit of time to myself every once in a while. 

Plus, it's really really sweet to see Camillo feeding Ollie. That man loves his boy. 

Let's hear it, mamas! Do you remember your first bottle experience with your littles? How did you feel?     

xoxo

Joy

cough cough sneeze sneeze

We caught the bug again last week. No, not the creepy crawly kind - the coughy sneezy kind! This time, though, Ollie skipped it - hallelujah! I had it worst which means nothing got done besides sleeping and feeding ourselves. Ha! I took a couple photos of our unbelievably messy house just in case nobody takes my word for it. Those photos may or may not surface here, we'll see how brave I feel :) 

Thankfully the bug didn't stay over the weekend so we got to enjoy a couple family days. Definitely showing those photos soon!

Did you guys have a good weekend? 

xoxo

Joy

Our little family was out and about on Saturday and Fall was definitely in the air. Brr! I'd been wishing we could go to Barnes and Nobles but since Camillo doesn't exactly enjoy scouring over the shelves for too long, I didn't mention it. Imagine my surprise when he asked if we could go! 

It felt so nice to be in the middle of all those books and I just wanted to soak it up. I scanned through the entrepreneurship section (what?!), the crafty books, the travel guides, and the funny non-fiction. Instead of filling a basket with books I'd like to read, I took pictures of each cover so I can look for them at the library. Usually, if I get half way through a book and decide it will be a good one to own, that's when I'll pay for it. Sometimes I wish I could read about 12 books at a time! 

What books have you read recently? Do you have a list of ones you're hoping to read soon?

A Little Reminiscing

Oh my goodness, you guys. Last night I just about went crazy with nostalgia. That seems to be a recurring feeling around this time of year. Am I the only one that this happens to??

I took advantage of Oliver's hour(ish) nap between meals and headed out solo to run a couple errands. My first stop was Starbucks to drop something off for my brother. The peaceful buzz of people visiting and sipping their evening drinks was so comforting under the dim lights. I wanted to stay and sit for hours! My next destination was Trader Joe's but first I had to drive back through town. I took the scenic route and felt so happy to see the 14 different shade of oranges and reds, yellows and browns. Isn't it beautiful? By the time I got back into Ballard, driving past church was another overwhelming sense of 'I've been here before and I remember it fondly'. This time last year I was well underway in my internship and also working at the gym that's right across the street. There were so many early mornings and late nights. With friends, coffee, meetings, projects, and holiday cheer to fill in between. To say the least, this little corner of Ballard holds a lot of sentiment. I was a busy lady but my days were full and my heart was glad.

Some may interpret 'nostalgia' as a longing to go back to a better time. That's not what I want. This season is just so much different than the last. I'm a stay at home mama who gets to raise her baby and build her apartment into a home for her family. These are the things I've always wanted and feel completely overjoyed to be where we are now. And I'm so thankful for the memories we've made. Stay tuned for next Fall when I'm writing a similar post on reminiscing about making apple pies with a baby wrapped to my chest, crisp walks holding Camillo's hand, and cuddling with both my boys while it rains and pours outside. Ah, what a life.

Fancy Pants

I've never really shopped for pants at Old Navy because their sizes run small (or big..?) and I don't feel very good buying a pair of pants two numbers bigger than I actually am. Superficial. I know. Anyways, I was near an Old Navy the other day and there was a big sign saying Baby Sale!! I went in just to see what baby clothes I could find for Ollie and, like a retriever does with a squirrel, got totally distracted by the rows and rows of colored denim in the mommy section. They were just so beautiful I couldn't help but try on a pair. Since they were also on sale for only $20 I figured as long as they fit okay, I could ignore the number. Long story short, I ended up with four pairs of nicely fitting, colored denim (not shown: light blue) and zero baby clothes. Sorry kid. Thanks Old Navy. 

Two Months!

Today this little man is two months big! Can you believe it? No, I cannot. As you can see here, he had a rough time waking up this morning. Ha! According to Wonder Weeks, he's going through a development leap that makes him a little grumpy. Well, grumpy makes it sound intentional and that's not the case. He's just a bit fussy and needs more Mama time. And lemme tell ya, Mama doesn't mind the cuddles.

According to the book, babies go through different leaps during certain weeks. For instance, Ollie is 8 1/2 weeks and research has shown that between 7 and 9 weeks, he's discovering patterns. Not only visually but in motions, too. I've noticed that he stares intently at the pattern of rungs along his crib, or the lines on daddy's shirt. He's also learned that when I'm pulling up my shirt and fixing my stuff, I'm getting ready to feed him and he calms down.  Anyways, it's a great book. I read it while I was taking care of Paige and each leap was always right on. If you have a kidlet that's under 18 months, I'd highly recommend grabbing a copy. It doesn't cure any fussiness, per se, but it's a lot easier to be compassionate with a tiny screamer when you realize that it's not all your fault when they are a little bit miserable. They're just going through so much change in a short time. Maybe for some moms that's a given but it's helped me a lot :)

Well. Didn't mean to go off on that bunny trail, excuse me. I'm just learning so much about my little bambino and I know it's just the beginning! I've got some posts planned that doesn't have everything to do with my kid. I mean, he's the cutest. But I realize I may be biased.

xoxo
Joy

You may have missed it, what with all the warm sunny days we've had, but it's finally Fall! I'm so happy - this is my favorite time of year. There's something in the air that makes me feel extra creative and crafty. Everything is a little more cozy and sweet. I'm looking forward to pumpkin bread and apple pie. Cinnamon scents and hot tea. Oh, so glad!

What's your favorite parts of Fall?

xoxo

Joy

My Five Words

Let's go back for a second, to even just 3 months ago...July. I was 8 months pregnant, working between 45 and 50 hours a week. Most evenings I was home by about 6pm and would fix a quick dinner, watch a show or two on the couch with Camillo, and then head to bed around 9pm. I was away from home for so much of the day, that I was excited to get back and those 3 hours every evening felt relaxing. I didn't think much about what filled our home or how it made me feel. 

Back to present time.

I'm suddenly spending almost 24 hours a day at home. In my 2 bedroom apartment. Let me say, I am so so SO thankful to be able to have this time at home with Ollie, and we're super blessed to have found a great deal on a two bedroom place. I'm most definitely NOT complaining. But let me get to my point...

It's just becoming very apparent, in an annoying sort of way, that our home doesn't really reflect who Camillo and I are as a couple, and now a family. By spending more than a couple hours a day at home (awake), I have time to notice that our home doesn't feel the way I wish it did. At first, I felt that maybe I was being ungrateful and prayed that my heart would change. That I'd be thankful for what we have. With everything we've been blessed with, why did I feel so discontent? 

Then somehow, I saw my 'discontent' in a different light and realized it wasn't due to ungratefulness. I'm just entering a new season of life and slowly figuring out what that will look like. As a new mama and a homemaker, it's my responsibility to make our home into a place that we enjoy. One that reflects us and can be a safe haven where we can find peace. It's okay to want a home like that. Yearning for such a place isn't being unthankful, it's just realizing that I have this amazing responsibility and opportunity to serve my family in a new way. 

Now how do I figure out how to create an enjoyable, peaceful home? I felt like I didn't know how to make an apartment our home. But when I found a few posts from Fieldstone Hill, I was immediately encouraged and got excited to narrow down our style, and how to work towards that by keeping a few descriptive words in mind. 

Knowing this is how I want our home to feel, I can focus on how to decorate and organize in a way that we can appreciate. My next plan of action is to go through our house and choose what stays. And what goes. It will all have to pass through my list. I want to be brutal! Wish me luck. I'm looking forward to recreating our space.

What would your style words be? Do you think your home reflects those words? Tell us in the comments below!

This is one of my favorite photos of his first 8 weeks...look how he's reaching out to hold my thumb. Oh my gosh, I die.

Poor little buddy. As hard as we tried, we couldn't keep Ollie from getting Camillo's cold this week. My teeny tiny baby bear has been sneezing and sniffling since last Monday and it breaks my heart! We spent a lot of time snuggling, that's for sure. Good thing he loves his k'tan. Mama loves it, too, because it let's me hold him close but keeps my hands free to do little odds and ends around the house. Even small chores like making the bed, doing the dishes, or folding the load of laundry make me feel good and productive. 

Hopefully all will be well within the next couple days. Camillo's almost back to 100% so I'm sure Ollie is close behind. Until then, it's snot suckers and snuggle time. Yay.