Monday, January 14

Photos from the first snow of the winter at my parent's house

December was kind of rough for me. Okay, honestly, all of 2012 was rough. There were some huge blessings (um, like my baby!!) but then there were also a few really really hard challenges. All of these life changing events had left me feeling completely upside down. Not sure where I stood or who I wanted to be. Or, maybe more importantly, who I was supposed to be. 

During the last week of the year I felt such a burden to make a list of resolutions. Promising to do this or that within the next 365 days. Trouble was, my mind was completely blank. How can I make goals towards being a better person if I don't know who I want to be when the year is done?

I was in a bad place, folks. I felt lost, anxious, mixed up, unsure, confined, overwhelmed. The worst part? Feeling guilty for carrying these emotions in the first place. There is so much to be thankful for, happy and excited about..but somehow all I wanted to do was hide under the covers, in the dark, by myself. I couldn't handle the pressure to have it all together when in reality I felt like I was falling apart.

I wasn't going to share this with you because I don't like to be a Debbie Downer. I figured I could write posts about my happy baby, the sunshine, and holiday baking while hiding what else is going on. But I'd rather be real. Because if I don't share some of the hard things that go on in my life, how can I share with you the victories? I know God is still working in my heart. And Jesus hasn't left me alone to deal with these issues by myself!

So now you know. The fog has lifted a bit but I'm still feeling pretty low. But I'm not hopeless! I know all of this is just for a season, and God is with me even when I don't know where I am. On the other side of whatever {this} is, I know I'll have an amazing story of His grace in my life and I'll be sure to tell you all about it. In the meantime, I'll continue sharing with you the things that cheer me my happy baby, the sunshine, and holiday baking. Thanks for listening.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Write me a little note