Wednesday, March 30

Here I am...

Thanks for waiting for me while I figured a few things out.
I'll be a little honest, okay?

I've been feeling super duper stressed, sad, and just completely overwhelmed.
I couldn't put a finger on any one thing that was dragging me down.
It's a strange feeling to not know what's going on.
But through prayer and reading my Bible, Jesus has been pointing a few things out to me.


For starters, I've been praying over the last few weeks that He would show me what's going on in my heart and that He would help me change it.
I was very proud in thinking that this revealing of my heart would be easy.
Hold on for a second - NEWS FLASH -
It's actually been rather disgusting.
My sinful thoughts, motives, attitudes, and actions have all been highlighted.
No wonder I feel so stressed, discouraged, and lost.
It hurts to be reminded of the truth - I'm a horrible sinner!


Thankfully, it doesn't end there!
This reminder of my death deserving sin is also reminding me of how gracious, merciful and loving Jesus is.
He knew all that nasty stuff was in my heart all along.
And He still loves me.
How amazing is it that, even after my sin put Him on the cross, He loves me enough to stick it out with me, work on my heart, make me better, and use me for His glory?
He's not giving up on me and realizing that is a humbling reality.


My heart - the center of my being - is being passed through a refining fire.
And, only by God's grace, the result that will come through to the other side will be a new, humble, thankful, compassionate, strong, courageous, woman of God.

He died for everyone so that those who receive His new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them...This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life has gone and the new life has begun! 
2 Corinthians 5:15, 17


I am so thankful to know Jesus.
Otherwise, this sin would be tormenting forever.
Instead of living in fear, anxiety, and despair, I can be brave, excited, and hopeful because Jesus loves me.
He's in it for the long haul.
I've just got to hold on tight.


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